I get dressed for the day. I know from the schedule that I’m going to a church and a classical music concert today. This is what I decide to wear.
The Church
The church is a very beautiful building.
A historic gem
I saw it when I cycled here
I wonder if I can take my coffee in.
Someone greets me
I know the church space - what it feels like to be in one. I don’t feel nervous about going in.
I go inside and take a seat near the front
Powerpoint is on.
The vicar looks tired. There was a youth lock-in last night. I think they stayed up all night.
He said his head feels a bit fuzzy
My head feels fuzzy
I reflect on how the message of love goes beyond religion.
I think of my friend who was a Christian for so many years and has trauma from being told that non-believers like me were going to hell amongst other things.
I think of how sad this is. It’s difficult to reconcile the two images/ideas/feelings I have in my head about Church. I think perhaps all versions of church exist at the same time.
I think of how nice it is that there are so many ages of people here old and young
There is a rock band playing hymns?
A boy dances in the isles
People open their palms out to the sky
I don’t really understand what they are saying. I find it hard to concentrate.
I make recordings and write, feeling self-conscious at my removal from being in the place.
The writing becomes a means to separate
My observation becomes a way of separation
Thinking about separation makes me feel anxious
I think of how wonderful it is to go weekly to something where your spiritual values are shared with others
I think of how I would like to have a place to go to do this, which isn’t a religious space but is communal. Some people talk about how they have a place in which they can feel a connection with spirit/god/something beyond than the material world, but if you are not religious, perhaps this space is often an individual space, it isn’t shared. I think it is sad that it isn’t shared. I think about future projects. I think about a project Sam Jacob did about creating a space intended to explore death, loss, and grieving
I think about Fleabag. Perhaps that has got some people coming to church that wouldn’t normally come?
The hour and half is so well performed and curated. Many people take the stage. The rock band plays 3 songs. There are different voices and personalities all playing a part.
The vicar gets annoyed that the person controlling the Powerpoint is not keeping up. It’s quite nice to see the vicar getting annoyed.
There is no communion non-alcoholic wine because of coronavirus
I see a guy who put his hand up when asked a question about a passage in the Bible is on his phone a lot. He looks like he’s on Twitter but perhaps there is religious pictures he is looking at. I can’t really tell but I’m intrigued by how much he is using the phone, and also how knowledgeable about Christianity he is.
The church has tried to be accommodating spatially. There is a good baby area at the back with toys to play with.
The service ends. The man who greeted me asks why I’m there. He asks is it for historical reasons? I say yes. He kindly shows me on a small tour around the church, talking me through historically significant artefacts. It is historically significant but I can’t remember what he says. I’m sorry - I should have written it down. I leave the church.
It’s a windy Sunday in town. I go to the supermarket on my bike and stock up on a few meals. The Lidl is very good here. I then make my way to Wardown House, Museum and Gallery for the concert. I love bike lanes. And I can get there via a park. It’s very beautiful. There seems to be a lot of green spaces in Luton.
Wardown House is very beautiful. There are beautiful trees outside.
There are historical figures talking out of portraits in the rooms on digital screens.
There are some families visiting. Sunday activity.
I go and have tea and sit down to reread my letter I wrote yesterday. Its so scrawly written I wonder whether QDT will be able to read it. I try to make it more clear by adding dots on I’s and crosses on T’s.
I relax in the calm room. It’s very beautiful.
I really enjoy my earl grey tea.
There is a very nice floor here.
Mostly people here are people probably over 70, perhaps with their children or friends. It’s a day out place.
I look around the cabinets, snapping what’s there. I have never taken so many pictures of things. I feel like I’m using the camera instead of my eye. I wonder whether people who are really into Instagram do the same thing all the time.
The concert.
I think I’m bored as a starting point.
Then I try to be present. Am I bored?
No I’m not. It’s a space to relax and Harpsichordist Terence Charlston who is leading the concert is very good. He explains things in-between songs, he gives each song and the composer context. He is interesting and passionate and calm. He chooses compositions by several women. Jacquet de la Guerre. A song called The Mysterious Barricades. I love this. People seem to like this. Its hard to know exactly what people think but gentle smiles and a positive feeling suggest people really like it. A quiet joy?
I write down my codes for the air b and b again on a different piece of paper
Gentle afternoon. I close my eyes.
Sitting in the drawing room. Light blue walls. Lots of complex cornicing work on the ceiling. I can go into my own head space. Half hour break! Lovely. I explore the museum. Different things catch my eye. Hat industry. Material Culture. If this museum was not to exist what would happen to all these objects? Do people really engage though? Do people feel this is important? Is this just another trip for people - a tick box thing to do? I think I have felt like that a lot in musuems. Right now I try to appreciate what I am seeing and experiencing. I love seeing the straw plait work from the hat industry - famously from Luton and some embroidery by different young people. There is one with these words,
‘In time of wealth protecting power
From pride and every ill defends
And in afflictions keenest hour
Be thou our comforter
and friend’
I dont really understand what they are saying, but it seems pertinent to contemporary life. Wealth and Power. I notice that it was a child that made it, and marvel at the changing of skills through generations. What young peopels creativity is today. I’m confident that there are many young people saying as profound today - but in another form.
There is a painting in the drawing room of the Town Hall on fire. I read about it upstairs. It happened on Peace Day in 1919 and happened because of rising tensions due to food shortages and the first world war, and as the information panels says some shopkeepers ‘gave preference to wealthy customers. Poorer women had to queue for hours. While soldiers were fighting and dying for their country, other people were making a profit from the War’. It is a shocking picture of the Town Hall in flames painted by an artist M WJ Roberts. Now its sitting in the drawing room near to portrait of a young ballerina and a painting by the Nigerian painter and sculptor Ben Enwonwu. It’s a conflicting mix of images.
On my way out I overhear that there is a suffragette dress here. I’m too shy to ask so I google whether there is one.
This has taken me so long to write. I don’t know what I thought but its 11.15pm now. I didn’t have time to watch the film set for me called ‘Blinded by the Light’. I hope there is time to watch another time. Sorry! I may need to change my approach to writing. I guess I should write in my breaks in the day. I’m going to try a different approach tomorrow.
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This is what I'm doing when I'm not concentrating on being in Luton (going on the internet).
