Day 7

Today I'm keeping writing to a minimum. I'm taking some time out to think about next week and how I want to approach it. In the meantime heres some pictures of things that I either found really satisfying or made me smile.

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A real highlight of the day was going to meet Labour councillor Tom Shaw during his surgery at the Chaul End Community Centre. I'd prepared these questions before we met.

Why do people mainly come to speak with you about?

Who mainly comes to surgery?

Do people ever come to tell you about good stuff thats happened?

Tom has been a councillor for 35 years and is clearly dedicated to the work and his community. I admire his passion. He does a surgery for local residents every week at the community centre and upstairs in a nearby mosque on a Friday.

He says mainly people come to talk about housing, or cuts to their benefits, or noisy neighbours. Then my questions fall apart - its better just to chat. We talk about the housing crisis and he explains how difficult it is to create new council housing stock. Luton is next to beautiful countryside, but outside Luton its a largely Conservative area and they don't want council housing to be built. He is very proud of achievements made in Luton. We talk about MPs who spend time prioritising visiting their constituents and going to community events - he says how Mo Mowlam and John Prescott used to regularly visit Luton on their way elsewhere. 

I ask him about how he came to be a councillor. It was because of a threat of closure to his daughters school. He campaigned to keep it open and not be developed. He says that the Labour MPs at the time were getting old, and when one died the others said - right Tom you'll be a councillor then. Here he is 35 years later.

We talk about the community centre we are in. It’s one of the busiest community centres in Luton. At the time of our meeting there was a boxing club in the back room and an English language learning class next door. There are NHS services in the building. A cafe with a painted sign saying - food is what binds is together. He says the rifle club are downstairs - ‘they always make sure to clean up their shells after themselves’. I'm a bit shocked that a rifle club exists. He says well their payment to use the room downstairs allows other things to happen. 

I think there is a lot more to write about this place. I hope I'll be coming back.

Day 6

Today my schedule is to

- Go to Aqua Fit at the Community Pool in Stopsley Village

- Go to the Market Hall in the shopping centre for lunch

- Have a mentor session

- Go and see the Informers play at O'Sheas Bar and Grill

Today I have a small but sore wound on my leg - so no aqua fit for me today (doctors appointment on Sunday). 

Instead I head to the centre of town to find the Market Hall hidden in shopping centre in the middle of town. The shopping centre is pretty dominating in town - its a huge space and it takes me a while to find the Market Hall. When I do I'm happy I have. It's full of little stalls - refreshingly unique compared to the usual high street shops in the rest of the shopping centre. There are some guys watching football on a small tv screen, a strong smell in the air - the nail bar, and opticians, fabric and food stalls. It reminds me of some of the best indoor markets in London - Seven Sisters Latin Village (currently under threat because of developers) and the Nags Head Market in Holloway Road. I love how relaxed it is here. I try to slow down, be more conscious of taking everything in. Bright pinks, yellows, and green colours zip through the space.  

I find somewhere to eat. There are lots of choices - jamaican, kenyan, thai, and indian food... Tea and coffee 75p. Cash only. I find the one I want to stay in - a small cosy looking cafe with Malaysian food.

There are two guys ordering food in front of me. One sits ontop of the cafe's chest freezer. He says to the chef 'I want to watch what your doing. I really like cooking.' He eagle eyes the chefs movements who looks a bit nervous from the attention. ‘I want the very best of the best. With lots of vegetables’ ‘can I have some more vegetables’ 'eat my greens.' he starts to sing.

'What’s that sauce please?'

I wonder what they are doing, where they’ve been before, where they’re going after. I guess they’re good friends. I like the interaction. Sometimes, I feel people are so boundaried with strangers. I have friends like this, people who really enjoy interacting with strangers and places. Making the most of where they are. Enjoying through talking touching moving, making people laugh.

I look over at the chef who looks a me a bit in disbelief. The two guys take their take away. 

I really enjoy the noodles and green tea. Some great chilli oil too. Delicious.

I listen to a man making a tune with his knife and fork in the cafe opposite and spend time just sitting enjoying where I am.

Later in the evening I head to O'Sheas. I'm a bit nervous about this. Since being in Luton I have been hyper aware about how cautious I am going out at night. It's the same in London. My bike becomes my safety and I really rely on it as a way to create space and protection in the night time. I text my boyfriend saying I don't really want to go. 

I'm happy to go out on my own in general to places - cafes and restaurants, but its something about doing things in the nighttime as a woman alone - particularly going to a pub I don't know. 

Just one drink I tell myself, and I assure myself that it's very close to where I live.

I arrive and the band are just playing their last song before they take a break.

David Bowie comes on the speaker 

Whoa whoa 

Lots of people in couples, or big groups. Loud cheers. A row of men on bar stools at the bar. 

It's a friendly pub and I'm welcomed into the space, but for now I don't feel like being in a pub alone. 

Massive claps 

Drunken Friday night

Whoah whoah 

I hide in my phone. 

If I was a man maybe I’d be up at the bar chatting away meeting someone? A sense of guilt comes in - should I be meeting people?

Deep breath in. I’m going to finish my pint soon

We’re on a road to nowhere... we're on a road to no where. my head nods along then the song fades out.

I fought the law and the law won!!!

The clash.

£4 a pint - this would be like £6 in London. 

I lost my girl and  

She’s the best girl I ever had

I think back to times I have been made to feel unsafe or had unsolicited advances from men. How this becomes internalised. There are terrible statistics about violence towards women world wide - the UN states it effects 1 in 3 women and the statistics increase if you are a trans woman, and more in certain countries if your a trans woman of colour. I go on google. I find this article - What would a city that is safe for women look like? https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2018/dec/13/what-would-a-city-that-is-safe-for-women-look-like and I remember the women's night march Reclaim the Night http://www.reclaimthenight.co.uk . I read an article about Pxssy Palace a queer club night in London that centres Queer womxn, Trans, NB & Intersex POC. They have started to offer free taxi rides home for trans people of colour which is paid by donations on the door and fundraisers. I am really inspired by this and think more about what could be done to support each other.  https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/38887/1/this-club-night-is-making-sure-trans-people-of-colour-get-home-safely

For now Im sitting here and I have a small amount of beer left. I think I've been here 15 minutes.

Rock the Casbah, rock the casbar.

I notice the informer have their own band sign behind the stage.

Rock the casbah rock the casbah 

Golden brown

Whay hay.

I finish my pint. I'm sorry to miss the Informers play their second half, but I decide its time to go home. 


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What I've been doing when I was half present in Luton, and on the internet

Day 5

Todays tasks are to

- Go to Stockwood Discovery Centre, walk round the gardens, and visit the museum galleries

- Have lunch at the garden cafe with Lizzy Fretwell a local theatre maker
- Go to the Hedley Rise Neighbourhood Watch Presentation Evening

--- Day 5 in Luton. I feel like I'm starting to get settled. Looking forward to this morning - the venue is close by and its sounds like a gentle start to the day. I put on my visiting a gallery / museum outfit.













Stockward Discovery Centre is an interesting complex of different museums and galleries with a good cafe. They have an incredible collection of local history as well as a huge space full of carts, wagons, and beautiful gypsy and traveller caravans. I also really enjoyed the museum gardens - each part of their garden has been designed according to a different place and time - for example there is the Dig for Victory garden showing the UK governments initiative during World War 2 to encourage people to grow their own vegetables. There is even Hens for Victory here - the Centres very own hens, and then next to this is, for example, The Italian Garden. Its quite strange seeing gardens curated like this - how strikingly different they are all are when placed in proximity to each other. There is always an assumption that a garden is 'natural' but seeing it here and how embedded it is within culture and history really demonstrates something else. 

I think back to the big allotment I passed by on my way to the centre - and I think of how vital allotment spaces are. Self built spaces are so rare in the UK and I love all the weird sheds, and odd structures. The allotment space is so important - a space for community, activity that has positive mental health benefits, and a space to feel empowered growing food (ideally). In the museum garden they are really focused on design and history and it feels strange to compare them to the working allotment - these alive and vital spaces.

After this I go and meet Lizzy for lunch. Lizzy is a talented young theatre maker who is currently creating We've Chosen Here, which is an interesting project devised with Luton residents at the local library. Together they are exploring loss and its relationship to location. Participants are invited to create an audio tribute to someone they have lost, via a connection to a place in Luton. Its a really beautiful idea and it reminds me of how in London I have experienced so many changes to physical space that memories and experiences with people (however vulnerable they are in their own way) are some of the closest things we sometimes might have in stability in relation to the built environment. There will be a listening party with all the stories and poems developed as part of the project on the 7th May at the Hat Factory https://www.culturetrust.com/whats-on/weve-chosen-here-listening-party

Its really great to talk with Lizzy, and we speak about Luton, a bit about growing up here, and her work in theatre. I tell her about my fear of acting, and how amazing I think actors are. 

At 7pm its time to go to the Neighbourhood Watch Presentation. I have never been to a presentation given by the police. (I am more used to (in protests) having a different relationship with them). It's taking place a community centre just outside of the town centre. I'm really glad I'm going to a community centre, there is something comforting about the similarities between community centres across the country - the same strip lighting, chairs, kitchen hatch, and lots of info boards.

We are introduced by the person (an ex police officer - sorry I can't remember his name) that started the local Neighbourhood Watch. He tells us they have 780 members (really impressive) and they do a number of things from walking the streets to keep an eye on things (and report suspicious goings on to the police), as well as litter picks. It is incredible community action, and I can't help but think that groups like these are going to be more prevalent as the government continues to underfund the police. 

It's interesting to hear about some of the groups they are connected to ... the 'Boys Brigade'... 'Friends of Wigmore Park' ... and I think about all the self initiated community groups that exist and how they are networked together.

Tonight we are going to have a talk about cyber crime and county lines.

Shaun is presenting. He begins, 'I will start by scaring you, and if I do I have done my job properly'. He is a very good presenter, a good performer, and everyone is gripped by what he is saying. 'The police don't help' he says, 'the banks won't help you' and he explains that there is only one person employed by Bedfordshire police to tackle cyber crime and thats him. He talks about who and how people are targeted. One of the biggest cyber crimes takes place in the world of online dating. He describes how usually women are approached by an 'engineer in Australia' and men are targeted 'by a sexy woman from Russia'. He talks us through how fraud mainly happens and about how people are often so ashamed about what has happened that they don't tell their family. He talks about people often targeted and taken advantage of because they are desperate for connection - they are often wanting love'.  

He talks about hackers who manage to hack into computers using phishing, followed by a complex story that eventually involves the person whose stolen money it is thinking the banks are actually trying to defraud them. Its incredible the story that is span by the fraudsters into making the person act in a particular way and building on their mistrust of banks. Its like some awful interactive theatre. A fraud performance with tragic consequences on peoples lives.

Next to present is a young police officer who specialises in working with young people -particularly those involved in county lines. The room is full of predominantly older people and I start to feel my age (34) as she quizzes us about young peoples speak. I only know two of eight of these definitions. 

OT - out there
Beef - an issue with someone
Endz - where they're from
Jakes - police
Man-dem - friend
Wettin - running drugs for someone
Burner - phone 
Bando - drug premises

It feels wrong to write these definitions down like this in this blog. Its definitely not the way they are intended to be used as they exist mainly through spoken word and text, and to create a coded and boundaried space. But I marvel at these words and how they came into existence? Did someone just say it, then people loved it - it just fitted so well, and then it became used because it was so spot on. 

The police officer talks us through the history of gangs - she asks when was the first gang? Apparently 1870 - I'm not so sure. I mean perhaps this is when the word 'gang' came to existence? Surely there were gangs before? She talks about uniforms, and how important uniforms are to a gang - she references Peaky Blinders. 

I am struck by her emphasis on encouraging adults to ask young people about what they are doing. Asking straight up questions. It strikes me about how much fear there is directed at teenagers from older people. How often it feels like a stark divide through which it becomes normalised to judge and to fear rather than just to ask, share, and relate. I think about the role of the media in creating this fear, and the lack of intergenerational events, projects, and gatherings.

Writing this now I recognise there is much more to talk and think about in relation to young people and the police. There is a lot more to say and I hope to come back to this later. 

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What I was doing when I was thinking about other things (my internet search history).